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Surviving as a Family During These Modern Times

Family provides some of the most important connections you will have in your life because a family is bound together by the most sacred and strongest emotional ties that exist between humans. The world today seems geared toward the breaking up of the family, as well as other relationships.

Individuals are spending less time with each other and more time with electronics, ironically those that are usually meant to connect them with other people. Television shows and other media seem to showcase the rejection of parents by their children, the lack of need for commitment in relationships, and other anti-family messages.

With the family being bombarded by so many difficulties, it is no wonder that more and more marriages are ending in divorce. Each divorce attorney Connecticut and other states have is seeing this trend. To survive in modern times, families need to keep in mind what is really important to them. Couples should always put their partner first. Building a strong marriage will play a tremendous role in protecting the family. Children will see the example of their parents.

Children will bear the brunt of the attack on the family, and having meaningful relationships with each other and their parents will give them the strength needed to combat the world. Knowing they can turn to their loving and trusting parents will be a priceless asset to them.

Parents need to be frank with children about the dangers in the world. They should consider themselves “military advisors” or generals speaking with and working with troops going into battle. Clear communication, love, and a reminder of the responsibilities in life that each member of the family carries will win the day.

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Activities Even Your Teen Will Want to do with You

World famous whitewater rafting in the Valley. 

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Perhaps you’re planning a family vacation, a fun family weekend or you just want to spend some time with your teenager to make sure they remember that they have a family that loves them. What kinds of activities can you plan that won’t have your teen wishing they were home playing video games, getting zoned out in direct.tv shows or out with friends?

Get active. Walking on a trail with your parents may not be a teenager’s favorite activity, but it’s hard to think about how much you’d rather be somewhere else with some more extreme activities. White water rafting, cliff diving or other extreme sports that are available in your location can be an excellent distraction from daily life and help you bond with your teenager.

Go out to eat. Sure, you may not be the ideal dinner guest to your teenager but everyone needs to eat and teenagers are starting to develop a more sophisticated food palette. With the recent explosion of food and cooking television shows, books and gourmet restaurants, there’s no doubt that your children have had a passing interest in food. Take the opportunity to show your kids different types of cultural cuisine than they had when they were growing up, or just enjoy the fine dining experience with the whole family.

Try a family game night. Ditch the old-school games that you played when you were a kid and try one of the more recent board or card games that have risen in popularity in recent years. Consider the trendy word association, settlement development and role-playing simulation games that have become a staple across college campuses and game stores.

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Keeping the Lines of Communication Open With Your Teen

It’s the time that worries every parent- the teenage years of their child. It’s as if a switch turns on right after the child’s thirteenth birthday. These are the years of rolling eyes, random bouts of attitude, and the ever popular door slamming. Any questions are met with a classic “yes” or “no” answer. How do you communicate with your teenager without driving them away more?

  1. The first step is to notice body language and respond in kind. Use constant eye contact when talking to your teen. If you are driving, glance over every now and then to make visual connection and show your child you are listening. By crossing your arms or putting your hands on your hips, this gives the signal of anger and puts the other person on the defensive. Not what you want to do when dealing with a teenager. Also, don’t be afraid to be affectionate with your child, even if it’s just touching them gently on the shoulder in conversation.
  2. Praise your child for their good deeds and tell them why. Positive reinforcement is vital in any relationship but especially for teenagers. The teen years are a time of indecision, self doubt, and a host of other confusing emotions that comes with growing up. To know they are valued at home is a necessary part of their upbringing. Buy them that cricket blackberry they have been wanting for a while. Rewarding them with something they want will encourage them to appreciate you as their parent, and communicate with you more. Encourage them in their endeavors and praise their success.
  3. Set time apart in your day to spend time talking to your teen about what’s going on in their lives. Make sure to ask questions that don’t get you the dreaded “yes” or “no” responses. Perhaps instead of saying, Did you have a good day? ask What did you learn in school today? If the child is being particularly contrary, they may respond with “stuff”. At this point, you may have to find a way to reword your question.

 

 

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Tips To Help Your Teen Take The Right Decisions In Life

Two adolescent couples at the 2009 Western Ida...

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Try to think about your past and try to identify certain decisions taken by your parents that helped you a lot in your future life. You will realize that most of the life changing decisions took place in your teenage years. Many parents are caring in the beginning but presume the child will take all the right decisions after becoming a teenager.

Some parents continue with their committed and interested approach but back away after the child behaves in a rebellious manner. Well, it is foolish to expect that your teenager will understand the implications of his or her decision on his or her own. You will have to fight the teenager to help him or her take the right decision. You may be speaking perfect sense but the teenager may simply not be interested in listening to you. This can be a very frustrating affair.

You have the option of letting the teenager take certain decisions so that he or she can find how foolish it has been. This approach may result in wastage of a lot of time but will help the teenager understand the mistakes. However, you cannot afford to adopt this trial and error method when important decisions are at stake.

One option is to continuously and consistently explain your position for a long period of time. If you want your teenager to choose a specific subject as his or her career, you should start working towards this goal at least one or two years in advance. To walk up to teen and expect him or her to obey all your instructions simply does not make sense.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Planning a Memorable Family Game Night

If your family is like most, it’s probably rare that the entire family gets together for an afternoon or evening. Yet research shows families need time to reconnect in order for the relationships to thrive. Think about planning a fun and memorable family game night.

  • Choose the right game. Consider your kids’ ages and attention spans. Don’t choose a game that will bore your older kids or teens because the activity is aimed at younger ages. Likewise, don’t choose a game that’s too advanced for your little ones. They’ll lose interest quickly. Reviewing the greatest board games of all time is a good place to start in making your selection because they have broad appeal.
  • Pick a convenient time. Your game night won’t be successful if the kids have just gotten home from a ball game or have a ton of homework. Many families find that Saturday night and Sundays early in the evening are ideal times for game night.
  • Keep it lighthearted and fun. Having a friendly competition is one thing; creating a fierce battle that prompts an argument is another. Offer a small prize to the winner such as a $5 gift card to an ice cream shop or let the winner skip chores for one night. This is a great way to get your kids enthusiastic about game night.
  • Provide special snacks. Serve a special dish or snack your kids normally aren’t allowed to eat. Or, bake those delicious cookies you only make at the holidays.

By putting thought and planning into game night, you’ll create a meaningful opportunity for your family to spend quality time together.

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Title Teenaged Rebellion

From http://www.flickr.com/photos/hygienematters/As an adult parent, it may be difficult for you to remember the phase of your life where you liked to rally against the rules, rebelling against everything that your parents told you and enjoying every moment of it. This is unfortunately a necessary part of life for most teenagers, and you were probably once there as well.

Understanding Teenaged Rebellion

The thing about teen rebellion is that it is completely natural, and only a phase that will eventually go away if you respond to it. This type of stage can present itself in a myriad of different ways, from your teenager wanting to dress a certain way (such as in name brand clothing to fit in) or hang out with certain friends. Whether your child is insisting on wearing Rocawear clothes or is just spending less time listening to you or taking you seriously, it’s going to be okay. You simply have to give your teenager a little bit of slack to be himself or herself until the feeling passes.

Ultimately, it is important to realize that when you allow the rebellious phase to be well received, then your teen will eventually get over it. If you rally against it and fight with your teen over his or her ways, then it is much more likely that your teen is going to continue his or her rebellious phase to spite you. When you keep this in mind, hopefully it will be easier for you to deal with this stage of the teen life cycle so that you can maintain some sanity accordingly.

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Drugs and Teenagers- The Deadly Combination

If asked, most smokers would admit they lit their first cigarette when they were teenagers. The teen years are the most susceptible time in a person’s life. It’s the time when children are pulling away from their parents and seeking the approval of their friends. All it takes is one friend to start smoking and pretty soon the entire group of friends are lighting up to fit in. Aside from peer pressure, there are a few other factors that provoke teenagers to spend hundreds of dollars on cigarettes a year.

  • Media has a powerful impact on teen smoking. Celebrities often make smoking look attractive and the cool thing to do. Parents may tell their kids smoking will kill you, but these actors still look great so the teenagers assume their mother and father are overreacting.
  • If a family member smokes, there is a far likelier chance the child will follow suit. Children learn by example, not by what they are told. In their opinion, if dad smokes then it’s fine for them to do it. Ironically, it is often the smoking parent that is most vehement about their child not getting hooked on nicotine.
  • Smoking cigarettes make it easier to move on to more illegal drugs like marijuana, which brings on feelings of euphoria. From there, it’s not hard to transfer to harder drugs like cocaine or heroine. Today marijuana is more popular than cigarettes because it is seen as all natural. Teenagers know nicotine can cause cancer so they only smoke marijuana because it’s “all natural” and won’t harm them. This is far from the truth. True, there is no nicotine but kids get addicted to the feeling they get after smoking weed.

Parents should make a list of points to talk about with their children, including the immediate and long term damages of drugs and cigarettes.

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Teen Rebellion

Rebellion is a common problem that parents have with their teens. You can raise your child with what you think are the right values but when they get older they can very easily turn away from those values.

The first thing to do is to make sure your teens are not hanging around bad influences. Some parents have a problem with this because they think their teens should have the freedom to choose their own friends. But many parents don’t feel this way because they realize that bad company corrupts good character. So it doesn’t make you a bad parent if you want to limit the negative exposure in your teens lives. The key is, that you have to fully explain yourself. You can’t just say, “I don’t like this person, don’t see them again.” That is not going to do anything but make the teen rebel even more. Instead, you need to explain exactly why you feel the way you do.

Explaining your feelings extends beyond friend choices. People respond a lot better when they feel they understand your perspective. So if you have certain rules in your house that your teens are rebelling against, you need to make sure they understand why those rules are in place.

Don’t just say, “do what I say or I am going to discipline you”. That is a surefire way to receive rebellion. Instead, you need to explain your line of thinking while explaining that your rules are to be respected while they are living in your house.

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Drugs, Alcohol, and Your Teens

Various prescription and street drugs may caus...

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People are doing drugs and drinking alcohol can very easily influence some teens. Peer pressure is real and powerful so it shouldn’t be ignored. However that doesn’t mean that you just have to accept that your teen will succumb to participating in illegal activities.

The first thing you should do is talk to your teen. Have an open discussion about how you feel about drugs and alcohol. The point of this discussion is not to berate or lecture them. Instead, the purpose is to open the doors of communication. Tell them how you feel about the issue and more importantly, why you feel that way.

Next allow them to share their feelings with you. Ask them if they know of any teens doing drugs or drinking alcohol. If they say yes, ask them how they feel about it.

There may come a time when it’s too late to have an open discussion. If you’ve already caught your teen drinking then you may have to get a little firmer. They really need to understand the consequences of their actions so it’s not inappropriate to take away privileges or require the teen to do something they don’t want to do like volunteer on the weekends.

If you’ve caught your teen doing drugs then you need to find out if there is a deeper problem. Is he or she being bullied? Do they feel stressed about something? Is he or she feeling depressed? Going to a qualified counselor can help you sort out these issues. A drug problem is not something that should be ignored or swept under the rug.

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Disciplining Teens

Discipline is a tough subject. This is because some people automatically equate discipline with physical punishment and that has a very negative connotation in our society. The truth is that discipline doesn’t have to be physical and in fact it can be beneficial for your teen.

People need to know there are consequences for their actions. If you have a teen that is engaged in rebellion, it will not damage him or her to put your foot down and start disciplining. Think about it- if you exhibit rebellion at your place of employment- there will be consequences; so why should it be any different for your teen? One of your main jobs as a parent is to prepare your child for the real world.

The method of discipline will depend on your teens individual personality and traits. Some people respond well to a firm discussion. Others need more drastic means such as taking away privileges such as driving or hanging out with friends. Some parents find it beneficial to make their teens do volunteer work or manual labor around the house. Whatever you choose, you have to be consistent about it. If your child notices that you are not consistent with your rules and the consequences for breaking those rules; they will just take advantage of you.

When it comes down to it you should always remember that you are not disciplining because you want to be mean, you are disciplining because you love your child and you are trying to guide them in the right direction.

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