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Activities Even Your Teen Will Want to do with You

World famous whitewater rafting in the Valley. 

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Perhaps you’re planning a family vacation, a fun family weekend or you just want to spend some time with your teenager to make sure they remember that they have a family that loves them. What kinds of activities can you plan that won’t have your teen wishing they were home playing video games, getting zoned out in direct.tv shows or out with friends?

Get active. Walking on a trail with your parents may not be a teenager’s favorite activity, but it’s hard to think about how much you’d rather be somewhere else with some more extreme activities. White water rafting, cliff diving or other extreme sports that are available in your location can be an excellent distraction from daily life and help you bond with your teenager.

Go out to eat. Sure, you may not be the ideal dinner guest to your teenager but everyone needs to eat and teenagers are starting to develop a more sophisticated food palette. With the recent explosion of food and cooking television shows, books and gourmet restaurants, there’s no doubt that your children have had a passing interest in food. Take the opportunity to show your kids different types of cultural cuisine than they had when they were growing up, or just enjoy the fine dining experience with the whole family.

Try a family game night. Ditch the old-school games that you played when you were a kid and try one of the more recent board or card games that have risen in popularity in recent years. Consider the trendy word association, settlement development and role-playing simulation games that have become a staple across college campuses and game stores.

Filed Under: Relationships, Teen Tagged With: , ,

Keeping the Lines of Communication Open With Your Teen

It’s the time that worries every parent- the teenage years of their child. It’s as if a switch turns on right after the child’s thirteenth birthday. These are the years of rolling eyes, random bouts of attitude, and the ever popular door slamming. Any questions are met with a classic “yes” or “no” answer. How do you communicate with your teenager without driving them away more?

  1. The first step is to notice body language and respond in kind. Use constant eye contact when talking to your teen. If you are driving, glance over every now and then to make visual connection and show your child you are listening. By crossing your arms or putting your hands on your hips, this gives the signal of anger and puts the other person on the defensive. Not what you want to do when dealing with a teenager. Also, don’t be afraid to be affectionate with your child, even if it’s just touching them gently on the shoulder in conversation.
  2. Praise your child for their good deeds and tell them why. Positive reinforcement is vital in any relationship but especially for teenagers. The teen years are a time of indecision, self doubt, and a host of other confusing emotions that comes with growing up. To know they are valued at home is a necessary part of their upbringing. Buy them that cricket blackberry they have been wanting for a while. Rewarding them with something they want will encourage them to appreciate you as their parent, and communicate with you more. Encourage them in their endeavors and praise their success.
  3. Set time apart in your day to spend time talking to your teen about what’s going on in their lives. Make sure to ask questions that don’t get you the dreaded “yes” or “no” responses. Perhaps instead of saying, Did you have a good day? ask What did you learn in school today? If the child is being particularly contrary, they may respond with “stuff”. At this point, you may have to find a way to reword your question.

 

 

Filed Under: Families, Relationships, Teen Tagged With: , ,

Teenagers and Discipline

When a child is younger and a quick spanking is needed to get his attention, or to even make the point that he is being punished for improper behavior, these sorts of quick power-affirming measures can be quite effective. Once the child becomes a teenager, however, they no longer are the appropriate method to employ in an effort to effectively discipline your child.

To begin with it is important to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. Punishment is the power to force your power on your child when he acts inappropriately. Discipline, on the other hand, has as its central goal to educate and train your child regarding the consequences that naturally follow their behavior.

 

Two adolescent couples at the 2009 Western Ida...

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Discipline is actually a measure undertaken to reinforce that your child accept the consequences of his behavior that he grows up to be responsible in the world in which he is placed.

Because so many teenagers reach this age attempting to shut out their parents more and more, the parents find themselves resorting to punishment over discipline as it tends to refocus their attention.

At this age teenagers desire more freedom and time to explore their growing social lives. When access to these freedoms is put in jeopardy due to their behavior the teenager is more apt to pay close attention to what you have to say. Therefore when a teenager doesn’t behave according to expectations – for example not completing their homework – then taking away or limiting these freedoms is an excellent way of both gaining their attention and teaching them through discipline how the consequences of their actions are a natural part of life.

Filed Under: Teen Tagged With: , ,

Tips To Help Your Teen Take The Right Decisions In Life

Two adolescent couples at the 2009 Western Ida...

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Try to think about your past and try to identify certain decisions taken by your parents that helped you a lot in your future life. You will realize that most of the life changing decisions took place in your teenage years. Many parents are caring in the beginning but presume the child will take all the right decisions after becoming a teenager.

Some parents continue with their committed and interested approach but back away after the child behaves in a rebellious manner. Well, it is foolish to expect that your teenager will understand the implications of his or her decision on his or her own. You will have to fight the teenager to help him or her take the right decision. You may be speaking perfect sense but the teenager may simply not be interested in listening to you. This can be a very frustrating affair.

You have the option of letting the teenager take certain decisions so that he or she can find how foolish it has been. This approach may result in wastage of a lot of time but will help the teenager understand the mistakes. However, you cannot afford to adopt this trial and error method when important decisions are at stake.

One option is to continuously and consistently explain your position for a long period of time. If you want your teenager to choose a specific subject as his or her career, you should start working towards this goal at least one or two years in advance. To walk up to teen and expect him or her to obey all your instructions simply does not make sense.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Families, Relationships, Teen Tagged With: ,

How to Make Moving Fun

The sound is shocking — both in its volume and its pleading. Your children are wailing, trying to defeat the act of moving through sheer vocal power.

They almost succeed.

Relocating is never easy. Parents too often suffer from the stress of both the move and the demands of their children. It’s vital to make the process less daunting, offering hints of fun to appease:

Make Packing A Game

It’s a collection of boxes and plastic totes: your family will soon be defined by containers (which will be driven toward a home secured by property management companies). This process can be dull, with children quickly overwhelmed. It’s imperative therefore to make packing seem like a game. Allow youths to earn rewards for helping; begin a race to see which child ho  can fill the boxes first. This will provide relief from the tedium.

Encourage Decorating Ideas

The concept of moving is one few children understand, summoning fears of bedrooms transforming somehow into dungeons. You must counter these concerns with encouragement: allow your sons and daughters to detail their new decorating styles. Let them chart colors, patterns, themes and more. This will offer considerable comfort.

Compile Personal Information

Friendships are meant to be sustained: this is the truth that children cling to. And it’s one that can shatter when the notion of moving is offered. Soothe the concerns of broken alliances by compiling a list of emails and telephone numbers. This will offer a sense of security, allowing youths to remain in contact with those they must leave behind (and providing the excitement of planned reunions).

Moving can be fun … if you follow these suggestions.

Filed Under: Child Development, General, Teen Tagged With: , ,

Title Teenaged Rebellion

From http://www.flickr.com/photos/hygienematters/As an adult parent, it may be difficult for you to remember the phase of your life where you liked to rally against the rules, rebelling against everything that your parents told you and enjoying every moment of it. This is unfortunately a necessary part of life for most teenagers, and you were probably once there as well.

Understanding Teenaged Rebellion

The thing about teen rebellion is that it is completely natural, and only a phase that will eventually go away if you respond to it. This type of stage can present itself in a myriad of different ways, from your teenager wanting to dress a certain way (such as in name brand clothing to fit in) or hang out with certain friends. Whether your child is insisting on wearing Rocawear clothes or is just spending less time listening to you or taking you seriously, it’s going to be okay. You simply have to give your teenager a little bit of slack to be himself or herself until the feeling passes.

Ultimately, it is important to realize that when you allow the rebellious phase to be well received, then your teen will eventually get over it. If you rally against it and fight with your teen over his or her ways, then it is much more likely that your teen is going to continue his or her rebellious phase to spite you. When you keep this in mind, hopefully it will be easier for you to deal with this stage of the teen life cycle so that you can maintain some sanity accordingly.

Filed Under: Education, Relationships, Teen Tagged With: , ,

Improving Your Relationship with your Teen

A picture of Japanese high school students fro...

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Parents are often told that their children will hate them when they become teenagers. Is it any wonder that this is the time when some parents forget their role in raising adults and instilling morals and critical thinking skills and instead try to be their teenager’s new best friend? Let’s face it: If you’ve done a good job in raising your child to be social and learn to play and work with peers, your teenager doesn’t need another friend. They need a parent who still works to instill discipline and supports them during these formative years.

So how do you work on strengthening that parent-child bond in preparation for the teenage years? First of all, don’t change the way you parent. If you require your children to do chores, continue to prioritize getting those tasks done. Reward good behavior, but remember that bribes can actually have a reverse effect. What’s the difference? Rewards are given after good behavior has occurred and is usually a surprise. Bribes are promises in exchange for good behavior and are expected.

Second of all, recognize that your child is changing and your relationship will probably change, too. Your teenager will probably start to have secrets. This doesn’t mean that it’s time to panic. Attempting to establish a sense of self with secrets is entirely normal. Trust your instincts but let your children have a little privacy.

Lastly, don’t give up. Talking to other parents can help to yield parenting tips that can help you continue to build and improve your relationship with your teen. Chances are, your child will grow out of any typical teenager rebellion phase.

Filed Under: Teen Tagged With: , ,

Poker for Teens: Is It Possible?

Yes, when you think of poker, the last thing that comes to mind happens to be “teenagers.” As always, poker is associated with bets, and bets usually involve money, which teenagers don’t have — or at least they don’t have much! But believe it or not, it’s possible to play poker . . . without money!

It’s not all about winning pots of money and coming out rich, although that’s how the history might’ve portrayed it. Poker is indeed very money driven. That’s how the whole risk is injected in there. You lose, you lose money; it’s a pretty big deal. Instead, you could just use chips (with no value attached) or candy. But think about some of the other fashion and appealing factors of the game of poker. For instance, poker tables!

Look at the style, the ambience, the craftsmanship. You can get some poker tables large enough to fit 10, maybe 15 players! That would make for a pretty good poker party with a bunch of teens. Not to mention it would turn you into one of the coolest parents on the planet. You can’t go wrong with that.

Moreover, the actual study of the game is, by sheer observation, a true art form. You can really study it, practice it, and be phenomenal at it. And know that when you become that proficient in it, the result is immediate attraction, appeal, and a general popularity. Think of your teen saying the words, “Yeah, I know how to play poker.” It feels good. For sure it feels good when you’d say it, too. Only you would be playing with real money!

Without a doubt, poker is an excellent game for your teens to learn and play. When in the home, you can expect loads of fun on that poker table for years to come.

Filed Under: General, Teen Tagged With: , ,

How To Manage The Rebellious Teen Years

So here’s the harsh truth: there is no way to stop teenage rebellion. Every parent wishes they could either keep the child who saw them as the world or bypass the teen years and go straight to adulthood. Unfortunately, this is all part of the learning process for both parent and child.

The first realization to accept is the parent will never do anything right in the teenage eyes. They will do exactly the opposite of what their parents tell them to. They don’t have a desire to hurt you but want to assert their independence. The next five or six years (12-18 yrs old) is especially hard on the parents because it is the time kids start to separate their lives from them. Hanging out with their friends is ten times more important than being with family.

Now is also the time when peer pressure becomes a huge issue. The desire to “fit in” with friends is a powerful motivator to get in to stupid stunts. They are liable to get very depressed if they lose the respect of their peers and deal with that by lashing out at their parents. Never take it personally when this happens. It has nothing to do with you. Accept that some things cannot be changed, but there are ways to reduce how rebellious the child gets.

  • Let them know you will always be there if they need to talk. When they do come, give your full attention and don’t judge. Let them vent and get their frustrations out before you attempt to give advice.
  • Treat teenagers with respect, as you would an adult and don’t talk down to them. Nothing will annoy a teen more than being made to feel like a child.
  • Admit when you’re wrong and you will gain respect from them, even if they don’t tell you.

No matter what, try to keep a cool head at all times and be supportive in every way possible.

Filed Under: Advice, Teen Tagged With: , ,