It’s the time that worries every parent- the teenage years of their child. It’s as if a switch turns on right after the child’s thirteenth birthday. These are the years of rolling eyes, random bouts of attitude, and the ever popular door slamming. Any questions are met with a classic “yes” or “no” answer. How do you communicate with your teenager without driving them away more?
- The first step is to notice body language and respond in kind. Use constant eye contact when talking to your teen. If you are driving, glance over every now and then to make visual connection and show your child you are listening. By crossing your arms or putting your hands on your hips, this gives the signal of anger and puts the other person on the defensive. Not what you want to do when dealing with a teenager. Also, don’t be afraid to be affectionate with your child, even if it’s just touching them gently on the shoulder in conversation.
- Praise your child for their good deeds and tell them why. Positive reinforcement is vital in any relationship but especially for teenagers. The teen years are a time of indecision, self doubt, and a host of other confusing emotions that comes with growing up. To know they are valued at home is a necessary part of their upbringing. Buy them that cricket blackberry they have been wanting for a while. Rewarding them with something they want will encourage them to appreciate you as their parent, and communicate with you more. Encourage them in their endeavors and praise their success.
- Set time apart in your day to spend time talking to your teen about what’s going on in their lives. Make sure to ask questions that don’t get you the dreaded “yes” or “no” responses. Perhaps instead of saying, Did you have a good day? ask What did you learn in school today? If the child is being particularly contrary, they may respond with “stuff”. At this point, you may have to find a way to reword your question.