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Facing Your Family’s Emergency Expenditures

Children start out small and cute. They gradually get bigger and as they do, it all gets a lot more complicated. Education starts, boys meet girls and visa versa, and before you know it, they are off to college. However, during that process, there can be a many emergencies that come up.

Accidents

Parenting is more than just raising a child, it’s also about paying the bills. Kids have unexpected accidents all the time. Your son thinks it would be fun to climb the tallest tree, then he falls and breaks his arm. In an instant, you find yourself in the hospital facing medical bills.

Trouble with the Law

Your teen is now driving, and like every teen, is a bit rebellious. It is becoming more difficult to discipline him. Sometimes a teen gets into drugs and alcohol, and eventually it leads to trouble with the law. You know you have a good kid, and you don’t want to hang him out to dry, so you post bail and you hope the police scare teaches a lesson.

Early Parenting

The idea of your 16-year-old telling you that you’re going to be a grandparent isn’t something most parents dream about. It happens though, quite often. The teen may quit school and get a job, but that isn’t going to cover the expenses needed to raise a child. Parents often take the child in and help with the expenses.

Expense Money

Some people have savings they dip into for emergency expenses, while others live paycheck to paycheck. If you are of the latter, and come up short, try no fax payday loans. They can help you make it to the next paycheck.

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Activities Even Your Teen Will Want to do with You

World famous whitewater rafting in the Valley. 

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Perhaps you’re planning a family vacation, a fun family weekend or you just want to spend some time with your teenager to make sure they remember that they have a family that loves them. What kinds of activities can you plan that won’t have your teen wishing they were home playing video games, getting zoned out in direct.tv shows or out with friends?

Get active. Walking on a trail with your parents may not be a teenager’s favorite activity, but it’s hard to think about how much you’d rather be somewhere else with some more extreme activities. White water rafting, cliff diving or other extreme sports that are available in your location can be an excellent distraction from daily life and help you bond with your teenager.

Go out to eat. Sure, you may not be the ideal dinner guest to your teenager but everyone needs to eat and teenagers are starting to develop a more sophisticated food palette. With the recent explosion of food and cooking television shows, books and gourmet restaurants, there’s no doubt that your children have had a passing interest in food. Take the opportunity to show your kids different types of cultural cuisine than they had when they were growing up, or just enjoy the fine dining experience with the whole family.

Try a family game night. Ditch the old-school games that you played when you were a kid and try one of the more recent board or card games that have risen in popularity in recent years. Consider the trendy word association, settlement development and role-playing simulation games that have become a staple across college campuses and game stores.

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Keeping the Lines of Communication Open With Your Teen

It’s the time that worries every parent- the teenage years of their child. It’s as if a switch turns on right after the child’s thirteenth birthday. These are the years of rolling eyes, random bouts of attitude, and the ever popular door slamming. Any questions are met with a classic “yes” or “no” answer. How do you communicate with your teenager without driving them away more?

  1. The first step is to notice body language and respond in kind. Use constant eye contact when talking to your teen. If you are driving, glance over every now and then to make visual connection and show your child you are listening. By crossing your arms or putting your hands on your hips, this gives the signal of anger and puts the other person on the defensive. Not what you want to do when dealing with a teenager. Also, don’t be afraid to be affectionate with your child, even if it’s just touching them gently on the shoulder in conversation.
  2. Praise your child for their good deeds and tell them why. Positive reinforcement is vital in any relationship but especially for teenagers. The teen years are a time of indecision, self doubt, and a host of other confusing emotions that comes with growing up. To know they are valued at home is a necessary part of their upbringing. Buy them that cricket blackberry they have been wanting for a while. Rewarding them with something they want will encourage them to appreciate you as their parent, and communicate with you more. Encourage them in their endeavors and praise their success.
  3. Set time apart in your day to spend time talking to your teen about what’s going on in their lives. Make sure to ask questions that don’t get you the dreaded “yes” or “no” responses. Perhaps instead of saying, Did you have a good day? ask What did you learn in school today? If the child is being particularly contrary, they may respond with “stuff”. At this point, you may have to find a way to reword your question.

 

 

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Tips To Help Your Teen Take The Right Decisions In Life

Two adolescent couples at the 2009 Western Ida...

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Try to think about your past and try to identify certain decisions taken by your parents that helped you a lot in your future life. You will realize that most of the life changing decisions took place in your teenage years. Many parents are caring in the beginning but presume the child will take all the right decisions after becoming a teenager.

Some parents continue with their committed and interested approach but back away after the child behaves in a rebellious manner. Well, it is foolish to expect that your teenager will understand the implications of his or her decision on his or her own. You will have to fight the teenager to help him or her take the right decision. You may be speaking perfect sense but the teenager may simply not be interested in listening to you. This can be a very frustrating affair.

You have the option of letting the teenager take certain decisions so that he or she can find how foolish it has been. This approach may result in wastage of a lot of time but will help the teenager understand the mistakes. However, you cannot afford to adopt this trial and error method when important decisions are at stake.

One option is to continuously and consistently explain your position for a long period of time. If you want your teenager to choose a specific subject as his or her career, you should start working towards this goal at least one or two years in advance. To walk up to teen and expect him or her to obey all your instructions simply does not make sense.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Improving Your Relationship with your Teen

A picture of Japanese high school students fro...

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Parents are often told that their children will hate them when they become teenagers. Is it any wonder that this is the time when some parents forget their role in raising adults and instilling morals and critical thinking skills and instead try to be their teenager’s new best friend? Let’s face it: If you’ve done a good job in raising your child to be social and learn to play and work with peers, your teenager doesn’t need another friend. They need a parent who still works to instill discipline and supports them during these formative years.

So how do you work on strengthening that parent-child bond in preparation for the teenage years? First of all, don’t change the way you parent. If you require your children to do chores, continue to prioritize getting those tasks done. Reward good behavior, but remember that bribes can actually have a reverse effect. What’s the difference? Rewards are given after good behavior has occurred and is usually a surprise. Bribes are promises in exchange for good behavior and are expected.

Second of all, recognize that your child is changing and your relationship will probably change, too. Your teenager will probably start to have secrets. This doesn’t mean that it’s time to panic. Attempting to establish a sense of self with secrets is entirely normal. Trust your instincts but let your children have a little privacy.

Lastly, don’t give up. Talking to other parents can help to yield parenting tips that can help you continue to build and improve your relationship with your teen. Chances are, your child will grow out of any typical teenager rebellion phase.

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Drugs and Teenagers- The Deadly Combination

If asked, most smokers would admit they lit their first cigarette when they were teenagers. The teen years are the most susceptible time in a person’s life. It’s the time when children are pulling away from their parents and seeking the approval of their friends. All it takes is one friend to start smoking and pretty soon the entire group of friends are lighting up to fit in. Aside from peer pressure, there are a few other factors that provoke teenagers to spend hundreds of dollars on cigarettes a year.

  • Media has a powerful impact on teen smoking. Celebrities often make smoking look attractive and the cool thing to do. Parents may tell their kids smoking will kill you, but these actors still look great so the teenagers assume their mother and father are overreacting.
  • If a family member smokes, there is a far likelier chance the child will follow suit. Children learn by example, not by what they are told. In their opinion, if dad smokes then it’s fine for them to do it. Ironically, it is often the smoking parent that is most vehement about their child not getting hooked on nicotine.
  • Smoking cigarettes make it easier to move on to more illegal drugs like marijuana, which brings on feelings of euphoria. From there, it’s not hard to transfer to harder drugs like cocaine or heroine. Today marijuana is more popular than cigarettes because it is seen as all natural. Teenagers know nicotine can cause cancer so they only smoke marijuana because it’s “all natural” and won’t harm them. This is far from the truth. True, there is no nicotine but kids get addicted to the feeling they get after smoking weed.

Parents should make a list of points to talk about with their children, including the immediate and long term damages of drugs and cigarettes.

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How To Manage The Rebellious Teen Years

So here’s the harsh truth: there is no way to stop teenage rebellion. Every parent wishes they could either keep the child who saw them as the world or bypass the teen years and go straight to adulthood. Unfortunately, this is all part of the learning process for both parent and child.

The first realization to accept is the parent will never do anything right in the teenage eyes. They will do exactly the opposite of what their parents tell them to. They don’t have a desire to hurt you but want to assert their independence. The next five or six years (12-18 yrs old) is especially hard on the parents because it is the time kids start to separate their lives from them. Hanging out with their friends is ten times more important than being with family.

Now is also the time when peer pressure becomes a huge issue. The desire to “fit in” with friends is a powerful motivator to get in to stupid stunts. They are liable to get very depressed if they lose the respect of their peers and deal with that by lashing out at their parents. Never take it personally when this happens. It has nothing to do with you. Accept that some things cannot be changed, but there are ways to reduce how rebellious the child gets.

  • Let them know you will always be there if they need to talk. When they do come, give your full attention and don’t judge. Let them vent and get their frustrations out before you attempt to give advice.
  • Treat teenagers with respect, as you would an adult and don’t talk down to them. Nothing will annoy a teen more than being made to feel like a child.
  • Admit when you’re wrong and you will gain respect from them, even if they don’t tell you.

No matter what, try to keep a cool head at all times and be supportive in every way possible.

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Teenage Waffling

Teenagers are a very strange place in their lives.  Their development is marked by a shift from being a child to being an adult in far more than just the physical sense of things.  In effect, your teen is waffling back and forth between the feeling that their life is controlled by others (whom they have got to manipulate, in order to get what they want), and the feeling that they are in control of their lives (and that they can essentially build whatever they want).  Needless to say, this is one of the most bipolar times in a human being’s life.  The good news is, even though our society allows (and even encourages) people to live in a state of adolescence until roughly their early thirties, you are only really going to have to deal with it on a regular basis until they are about 18 and go off to college.

The problem with teenagers being stuck in a period where they are part child and part adult is that they have a very schizoid method of dealing with life’s problems, and working out their own issues.  At one moment, they are wanting you to stay out of their business.  But in the next moment, they are blaming you (often loudly and venomously) for not being “there” when they need you, as if you are some kind of psychic who can just sense these sorts of things.  Unfortunately, beating them does not help, however much fun that might be.

When it comes right down to it, in time the waffling is going to come to an end.  Of course, by that point your kids will have long since left your home and started their own (and possibly had their own children, as well).  So it really will not be something that you can just celebrate when they finally pass into the adult emotional stage of life (if they ever do).  While a teen is in your home, you might as well prepare yourself for an awful lot of waffling between the extremes.  It is just going to happen anyway.

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To buy Your Teen a car, or Not?

At some point in your teen’s life, they are most likely going to want to buy a car.  Unless you live in an area where having a car seems pointless (such as where public transportation is spot on), it is inevitable.  And even in those kinds of cases, a lot of young people like to take long road trips- kind of hard without a car.  So the question becomes, will your teen buy their own first car, or are you going to buy it for them?  Let’s assume for the moment that money is not a major issue, and that you could drop a few thousand dollars for a basic starter car without breaking your retirement fund.

What does it teach your teen when you buy them a car?  It teaches them that they do not need to plan out their own major expenditures, and that they can count on you to take care of things for them in life.  But is there any upside to buying your teen a car?  Doing so will give them a bit more independence, which will take some onus off of you having to ferry them and their friends all over the place.  And in addition to that, your teen might also become useful for helping you with some errands.

Of course, allowing your teen to buy themselves a car is going to teach them a lot of lessons that will be useful to them later in life.  The only bad thing about allowing your teen to buy their own car is that it could result in them picking a type with a poor safety rating.  And while the type of teen who plans and saves for a long enough time to buy their own car is not too likely to pick a deathmobile, this is most definitely a time when you do need to exercise your parental oversight.

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