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Teenagers and Discipline

When a child is younger and a quick spanking is needed to get his attention, or to even make the point that he is being punished for improper behavior, these sorts of quick power-affirming measures can be quite effective. Once the child becomes a teenager, however, they no longer are the appropriate method to employ in an effort to effectively discipline your child.

To begin with it is important to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. Punishment is the power to force your power on your child when he acts inappropriately. Discipline, on the other hand, has as its central goal to educate and train your child regarding the consequences that naturally follow their behavior.

 

Two adolescent couples at the 2009 Western Ida...

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Discipline is actually a measure undertaken to reinforce that your child accept the consequences of his behavior that he grows up to be responsible in the world in which he is placed.

Because so many teenagers reach this age attempting to shut out their parents more and more, the parents find themselves resorting to punishment over discipline as it tends to refocus their attention.

At this age teenagers desire more freedom and time to explore their growing social lives. When access to these freedoms is put in jeopardy due to their behavior the teenager is more apt to pay close attention to what you have to say. Therefore when a teenager doesn’t behave according to expectations – for example not completing their homework – then taking away or limiting these freedoms is an excellent way of both gaining their attention and teaching them through discipline how the consequences of their actions are a natural part of life.

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Methods of Discipline and Their Effects on Children

Discipline is one of the most important parts of being a parent. Good discipline is a harder thing to attain as methods that work for one child may not work for another. Adults tend to discipline their child according to the way they were brought up as a child. The standard in African American families is using violence to bring their child to order. Whether it be a slap on the wrist or bringing out an object to beat the youth, this has been a disciplinary action taken for years. How many siblings are in a family could be a factor. A mother who has five kids may not be able to give individual attention to each child at one time so beating a child is more effective than giving them a time out or talking to them about their wrong action. Yet for some families, smacking the child seems to be effective and the child never doubts their parent loves them. They associate the bad action with a beating so no longer do the action. This is how African Americans and Caribbean cultures have disciplined their children for years.

Psychologists say there are far more constructive methods of disciplining the child. One way to to let the child know the rules beforehand so they know the consequences of their actions. Once the child misbehaves, you explain what they did wrong and why they are being punished. Then they can be punished in different ways. Some parents take away their electronics or toys for a certain amount of time.

Discipline must be tailored to the child’s personality as each one is unique and reacts differently.

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Disciplining Teens

Discipline is a tough subject. This is because some people automatically equate discipline with physical punishment and that has a very negative connotation in our society. The truth is that discipline doesn’t have to be physical and in fact it can be beneficial for your teen.

People need to know there are consequences for their actions. If you have a teen that is engaged in rebellion, it will not damage him or her to put your foot down and start disciplining. Think about it- if you exhibit rebellion at your place of employment- there will be consequences; so why should it be any different for your teen? One of your main jobs as a parent is to prepare your child for the real world.

The method of discipline will depend on your teens individual personality and traits. Some people respond well to a firm discussion. Others need more drastic means such as taking away privileges such as driving or hanging out with friends. Some parents find it beneficial to make their teens do volunteer work or manual labor around the house. Whatever you choose, you have to be consistent about it. If your child notices that you are not consistent with your rules and the consequences for breaking those rules; they will just take advantage of you.

When it comes down to it you should always remember that you are not disciplining because you want to be mean, you are disciplining because you love your child and you are trying to guide them in the right direction.

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